I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
