Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
