Fine. I'll sleep in my office
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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