I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
