If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
