You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
