the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
