Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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