he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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