? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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