I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You pole danced in your parka.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
