Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
