kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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