Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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