also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think my fart just growled at me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My ass is underappreciated
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
