I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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