I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
