at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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