if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
