his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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