I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
