i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize