Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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