Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
NoShamevember. You game?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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