So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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