At least make sure they are 18
Why
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I cut my penus on the lid.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
