His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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