i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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