We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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