Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
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I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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