Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
