Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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