found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
