Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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