Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
