Michael Bay diarrhea
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
