I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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