Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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