never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm at about main and main street
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize