I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
