can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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