Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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