kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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