That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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