Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
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I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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