How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
