You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
