AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
