Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
