i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
