In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
