I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
