one two three fourrrrnication!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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