But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
