I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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