What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
