My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
