Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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