I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
