Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
