Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize