Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
