My nipple is on Facebook.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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