Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
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the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
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Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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