Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Sober January is a disaster.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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